Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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