He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
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Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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