We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
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At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
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Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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