:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
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She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
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Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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