I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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