According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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