She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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