Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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