Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize