I accidentally burped into my bong.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You are the jesus of drinking
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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