I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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