I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
