I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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