In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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