he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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