Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
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Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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