this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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