Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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