I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
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