It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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