East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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