great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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