I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize