I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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