listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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