I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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