I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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