people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize