all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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