I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize