I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Green mimosas i think yes
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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