"it" just moved
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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