You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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