uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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