im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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