I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize