just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
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I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
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I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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