i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
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Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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