Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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