I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize