my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize