..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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