I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize