i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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