I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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