Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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