When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
birth control should be required to get into college
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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