Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
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Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
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We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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