I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize