Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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